The average amount of time couples spend having sex is less than 5 minutes. For many couples, foreplay or teasing lasts awhile, then an erection happens and sex happens, but then it’s over. Or, the erection doesn’t last long enough to make sex satisfying.
Of course, there are many men who want to keep an erection longer than average. A great sex life goes along with any number of other normal wants and needs, like a nice car or house, but it doesn’t cost anything.
Unfortunately, many men struggle with things that kill erections, make them weaker, or are unable to control them. These issues are not necessarily medical conditions or dysfunctions, but they could be. Assuming that they are not, there are things men can do to keep an erection for a longer period of time.
An erection happens when blood rushes to the penis vein. This is in response to some sort of trigger – and men may be triggered by different things. The trigger or stimulation could be purely psychological, such as the sound of someone’s voice. Or, the trigger could be physical, in response to kissing, caressing, stroking, or massaging.
What weakens or stops erections?
Before we look at how to keep an erection longer, let’s look at the things that weaken or even stop an erection in its tracks.
In an article on Men’s Health about things that wreck your erection, some examples of threats to an erection are sugar, lack of sleep, sleeping near a newborn baby, and lack of vitamin D. The common theme in the article is that reduced testosterone impacts your erection. Not all scientists agree with that. But there are definitely links between testosterone and erectile problems.
Other things that keep you from getting hard, or could make you lose your erection:
- Being overweight
- Anxiety, stress, or depression
- Smoking or toxins
- Too much alcohol
- Difficulty penetrating during sex
A very stressful or intense situation, or performance anxiety, could definitely make a man lose his erection. The pressure to perform could be psychologically too intense to keep a strong one. Another, lesser talked about erection killer is difficulty penetrating a partner during sex. It’s related to performance anxiety and stress, but also fatigue. If sex becomes tiring, fatigue will bring a quick end to an otherwise great night.
How to keep an erection longer naturally
Want a longer lasting erection? Read these 10 natural tips for how to keep an erection longer and stronger. If you still have questions about how to stay erect longer, you can try natural male enhancement pills.
#1 – Strengthen your penis with kegels
The first tip for how to keep an erection longer is a simple one. Exercise the penis with kegels. According to sex and relationships expert, Jordan Gray, kegel exercises strengthen your genitals and improve your sex life. Kegel exercise involves “flexing and holding the muscles that stop the flow of urine.” The penis is made up of a ton of muscle. It’s important to keep that muscle tissue strong, healthy, and reactive. Kegels are popular with men and women. If you’re struggling with keeping an erection for a length of time, the reason could be weak muscle tissue.
#2 – Breathe deeply to hold off an orgasm
The second tip is to breathe deeply, the whole time you’re having sex, but especially once you start to feel like you’re going to ejaculate or lose your erection for some reason. Deep breathing sends oxygen and energy to where it’s needed most, and it’s known for intensifying sex. What’s more important, though, is that it helps you get control over your body.
Breathing deeply relaxes the body and tends to slow things down. Try this during sex: as you begin to climax, if you’re not ready for it yet, stop penetrating and just breathe very slowly. Try kissing or going back to foreplay for a period of time.
The more you do this during sex, the longer you’ll be holding your erection.
#3 – Switch positions during sex
The third tip for how to keep an erection longer is to frequently switch positions during sex. You’ll like some positions, but hate others. Keep mixing it up. Return to the ones you like every so often, but spend just as much or even more time in the positions you don’t like. As long as the positions aren’t painful for either you or your partner, doing this will lengthen your erection.
Try switching back and forth from missionary to cowgirl, missionary to doggy-style, and then back to missionary again. Or try any number of kama sutra poses. The key is to mix it up so you’re not getting very used to a single position the hold time. But still frequently return to the positions that get you close to climaxing.
If you get into a position you really do not like, make sure you change it quickly. The idea is to maintain your erection, not lose it.
#4 – Slow down
Don’t approach sex like a race. If you struggle with losing your erection quickly, you might be used to speeding things up. That’s counterproductive, though. Work on slowing things down and don’t be afraid of what happens in your body. By slowing down, you’re retraining your body to expect something different from sex. Right now, your body probably expects to climax in a very short period of time. If that’s not what you want, you have to train your body to take a little longer.
Practice being slow and deliberate with everything you do regarding sex. From undressing, through foreplay, and through penetration, keep it slow. You won’t always have to do this. But while training your body to experience sex differently, it’s important to take it slow with purpose.
#5 – Make sex more interesting
If sex is boring to you, it could be the reason your erections aren’t lasting as long as you want. Sex that happens the same time, at the same place, and with the same person could become monotonous. This is especially true if you find yourself getting an erection around someone new, but not around your partner.
Play it up. Add something to your sex life: maybe a new toy, or a video that you watch together, or costumes, or even edibles. Those are easy ways to make sex more interesting and hopefully keep your erection longer and stronger. Thrills tend to be triggers for erections, so try and add some to your love life.
Carefully consider being a little frisky outside your bedroom, too. Elevators, empty bathrooms, dark theaters, cars, or the guest room in a friend’s house are among the safer choices. There’s a risk, and you definitely do not want to get caught, but this level of excitement may kick off an erection that lasts all the way home.
#6 – Masturbate less often
The sixth tip for how to keep an erection longer is to stop masturbating as much. Masturbation can help in many cases – it helps build muscle and strengthen the penis, for example. But some people believe it can have the opposite effect if it happens all the time. Sex and erections are about circulation and blood flow, but also about the mind.
Be careful, too, about masturbating alone to video. Again, you’re training your body all the time. You need to train your body to respond the way you prefer. Try involving your partner in a mutual masturbation session, rather than making it a secret or private thing you only do when she’s not around.
#7 – Keep your libido up
Don’t let your libido fall. If you think you may have low libido due to medications or other medical issues, contact your doctor. You need a normal to high libido to keep a stronger, longer erection. People with a high libido want to have sex often. If you don’t, that’s okay, but it’s not going to help you in the erection area.
One way to keep your libido up is to fantasize about sex, either with your partner or even someone else. Be careful not to get to a place where you feel guilty, though. Guilt can kill an erection. Instead, just use your imagine a little more than before. Visualize sexual situations, or picture the body of someone you find sexy.
Another way to keep your libido up is to act when you do get aroused. This might mean going home at lunchtime to have sex with your spouse, or leaving a party early with your date if you’re both aroused. Staving off an arousal trains your body to disassociate arousal with erections. You want the opposite. You want to get and keep a strong erection when you feel aroused so that you can have better sex. So this is a great excuse to tend to your sexual needs as they come, if you can.
#8 – Get out of your head
Don’t think too much about past sexual performance, future performance, or what your partner is thinking. Only think about those things if you get aroused by them. But if you just get more anxious and stressful thinking about those things, let them go. Meditate, pray, or practice some deep breathing in order to live a more peaceful life.
Here’s a great way to get out of your head and be more present in the moment: stay physical. Play basketball, football, or soccer. Go out with your friends and dance or shoot pool more often. Be more social. When you connect with other people, you usually have less time for contemplation and overthinking.
An important thing to say again is to be careful with guilt. Maybe you’re in a relationship you know you shouldn’t be in. That will cause you to lose your erection eventually. Try and do the right thing. You’ll enjoy a better sex life and life in general will be less stressful.
#9 – Have better sex
Sit down with your partner and talk honestly about your sex together. Is it good? Do you both like it? This is important, because feeling discontent can cause you to lose an erection frequently. So open up. Maybe one or both of you isn’t enjoying the sex anymore. You can definitely improve the quality of sex that you have, but it’s start with honesty. Frequency, intensity, and a number of other things from scents to bad breath can dramatically impact sex.
If you feel your partner isn’t having a good time, ask why. And be prepared to listen. Be open to change and to trying new things.
Additionally, financial struggles, issues at work, and issues at home with children or external family can impact the quality of sex you’re having. Remember that sex is a two person game. Both people need to be invested in it for it to be good. And good sex leads to longer, stronger, more powerful erections. It’s in both of your best interest to have better sex.
#10 – Less porn, more reality
Here is the last tip for how to keep an erection longer. Keep the amount of porn you consume in check. In 2013, it was estimated that some 30% of all Internet traffic was to porn sites. That statistic was reported in Huffington Post article on traffic to porn sites versus other major sites. At the time, this was more traffic than to Netflix, Hulu, or even Amazon. It’s clear that there are addiction risks associated with porn, but the bigger problem is how the brain begins to react to stimulation that’s right in front of you. Over time, men can begin to lose interest sexually in actual sex that isn’t as risque, interesting, or vibrant as porn.
Try this: just reduce how much porn you consume in a week. If you want to take it a step further, watch it with your partner. Use it to inspire your sex life, not replace it. Keep in mind that fatigue plays a big role in your ability to keep an erection. Watching too much porn and subsequently masturbating to it could tire you out for actual sex with a partner later on. Balance is key.